I Kid You Not

I Kid You Not

                 I bet if we tried to keep count of all the little petty lies we tell people and ourselves that we’d be surprised by the shear amount we tell. Not to mention, what they’re about. Compared with years past, I don’t think people are nearly as troubled with lying as we used to be. In another life, being dishonest was a much bigger deal than it is in the current world. Lying has become part of culture. Part of most people’s daily life. Lies under the sarcasm and smart-fill-in-the-blank category don’t really bother me as long as he or she makes it blatantly obvious that what he or she has said is not truly what he or she meant. Heck, I’m sarcastic all the time, but the difference is that I exercise the correct tone of voice when I use it. And when other people use “that” voice its fine too. It’s the “I only lied because I wanted to see you get excited for nothing” lies and the “I didn’t think you could handle the truth” lies that bother me along with fake rumors and gossip and just what most people think of when they hear the word “lie”. These fibs don’t have to be part of society though! Remember when we were kids and when we got busted for lying we got soap in our mouths? It made us not want to lie, and though it may not be as pleasant as chewing on a bar of soap, lying can still have consequences now too.

Here’s the scenario: I have two parties that I want to go to, but they are at the same time and to only go to half of each would be pointless. I’ve decided which one I’m going to go to, but what do I tell the people at the other one? I could tell them the truth and explain to them that I decided to go to the other jamboree because I’ve known that person forever, but that I’ll hang out with those people from the other party another day. They might be upset for a little bit because I chose someone else over them, but they’ll get over it. They’ll respect me for being honest to them. Or I could lie. That’s even easier.  Just give them an excuse. Yeah. I had a “family emergency.” “I’m grounded.” “I had to babysit.” Any of those will do. They’ll be disappointed, but they’ll understand—at least until they check Facebook later that night and see all the pictures and status that I’m tagged in. Then they’ll know I lied to them. They’ll stop trusting me. Maybe they’ll confront me. Maybe they won’t. Either way that person was hurt—more so than if I’d told them the truth from the start. And every lie I tell them breaks another thread of their respect for me. Suddenly, I’m not trusted with important things. I’m not included. I become cast out. I’m not nearly as good a friend with that person anymore. All because of a few, little lies. Little, petty lies that no one wants to hear. I certainly don’t want to hear them.

One of my “friends” had been in a situation not unlike that one this summer. She decided to lie to the group I was in that she had a “family emergency” and couldn’t come. Facebook can be very hostile in situations such as this. She was at Orange Leaf with another group of friends. One of them was going to college the next day, so I didn’t blame her for wanting to go hang out with her when she could hang out with my group any old time, but I was upset—upset by the fact that she didn’t trust us enough to think that we would respect her decision.  Nowadays, I’m really not as good as friends with her as I was earlier this year. Now there’s tension between her and the group because we don’t feel like we can trust her as much as we thought we could. And I don’t know about the rest of society, but I’d rather eat a whole bar of soap than lose a friend. But what would be even better is if we just didn’t lie in the first place. Then we wouldn’t be punished for lying, and people wouldn’t get hurt in the process.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

That’s more so what this all boils down too; lying is and isn’t more than just sounds that tumble out of the large opening on our faces that are not true. I can say something that isn’t true but not lie. Though I don’t like to admit it, I’ve been wrong before.  Maybe I was just uniformed on the subject making my verbal spew incorrect but not a lie. No, Lying is intentional. Lying has fine print. When someone lies to me, they are inaudibly saying that they don’t trust me. I’m not important to them. They don’t care enough about me to want me to believe them. I’m a replaceable factor in their life. I know a lot of times people don’t mean for me to feel those ways, but that’s what their lies tell me. I’m pretty sure that most of the time, it’s not the “actual lie” that upsets people, it’s the body language, per say, of the lie. If I think that that’s what someone thinks of me because of the lies he or she tells, then why would I believe them next time they try to tell me something?

 I’m a very trusting person, so for whatever reason, I’m still shocked when I find out that something is a lie. But I think there’s more than that to the bombshell I feel.  I don’t think there’s a dumb, random explanation for being surprised; there’s an actual reason I’m flabbergasted. What if we’re not made to lie but to accomplish more than that?

“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”

 --Proverbs 6:16-19

Yup I’m pulling out my Bible verses. But notice that lying is mentioned not once but twice. And it’s up there with murder and a number of other sins; the sins that GOD despises above others. Our society recognizes murder as a big no-no and that’s only listed once. Aren’t things that are repeated kind of important or something? Maybe, dear Reader, you may not feel that this “applies” to you? You’re annoyed that I included this at all? But in this wonderful country that we live in we are, what we call, under GOD and Indivisible. A lot of the laws we have here directly correlate with things dubbed as sin. Are we putting two and two together yet?  Maybe lying is a bigger deal then we make it out to be.

                I’ve been lied to I don’t know how many times, and I usually fall for it. It makes me feel dumb, but why should it? I’m sorry if I care about and trust in you enough to believe that what you say to me is the honest truth. Aren’t those traits we were taught to have and look for in a friend? So when did lying become socially acceptable, and caring become something to mock and laugh at? I don’t understand how people think that’s OK, and I don’t want to ever believe that “logic”. Instead of saying that I’m reliable or trustable, I have the word gullible thrown at my face. They laugh, but I don’t find it funny. I want to trust people, but many won’t let me. Their lies get in the way. Lying is hurt. Lying is doubt. Lying is hate. Lying is sin. And there’s enough of all of those grievances in the world without petty lies being added to the bundle.