Road Rage? No, You're Slow.

    Oh great, you're going to be late to work, as usual. You are supposed to be there by 7:30, and you're running out the door at 7:20 because the stupid faulty coffee maker broke. Again. Quickly driving out of your neighborhood, you prepare to turn onto Willott Road and hit the gas. But wait! As you turn out, a small, red Taurus is in front of you, and it is moving at a snail's pace. You think, "Really? I'm going to get docked pay because someone was going 25 in a 40!" Yep, that's how it goes. Another day ruined because of a slow, inconsiderate driver.

    It's not that people shouldn't be allowed to drive slowly, because there are definitely times when caution is necessary (especially considering we drive two-ton death machines). However, if you're hindering another driver from being on time to an event--whether that event be work, a sport, school, or a party--that is extremely rude. Driving under the speed limit is ok when . . .

                                             
                                                    . . . there is no one else on the road.
                                                    . . . there is horrible weather.
                                                    . . . there are children present in a neighborhood.
                                                    . . . there are cars lining the street of a neighborhood.
                                                    . . . there is a cop right behind you.

I can assure you, though, that the above reasons will not cause you to drive like my dead grandmother.

    Example: On a particularly foggy night, I was driving my sister home from church. Because of the limited sight distance, I turned on my lights and drove with caution. My reduced speed was still 30mph in a 40mph. I made it safely home and there wasn't even an encounter closer than any other faced by bus drivers everyday as they drive screaming children.

    There are certain times when it is just not acceptable to drive slowly. For instance, if you are on a one lane road. Seriously?! There is absolutely no exception for one lane traffic behind a lazy driver. It holds everyone else up with the crappy driving, and it makes it seem as if there is a funeral procession behind you. There might as well be a funeral procession behind you because everyone in those cars behind you is either crying at how late he/she is going to be or bored out of his/her mind!

    My boyfriend Brennan was driving me home on a Sunday night because I was supposed to be home by 9:30. We left his house at 9:15, knowing it only takes ten minutes to get from point A to point B. We turned onto Willott Road at 9:20pm and pushed the minivan up to the speed limit of 40mph, being very careful not to speed. Suddenly a white Cadillac cuts out in front of us. And this Cadillac is seriously going as slow as my sister on her way to fold laundry. Behind him, Brennan waits, pulling right up on his tail in an attempt to move him along. Instead of politely going faster (since it's a one lane road and we couldn't serve around), the jerk slammed on his brakes, causing Brennan to slam on his brakes, and sending my head into the passenger side window. My visions was blurred and head bruised, as we looked up to see the man giving us a not-so-nice hand gesture in his mirror. Granted, we should not have been riding him like baby sloths on their momma, but the polite thing to do when someone is obviously in a hurry is to let them go around you. All my injuries could have been avoided if that slow driver would have just gone the speed limit. Plus, I wouldn't have missed my curfew!

    For those of you who are not convinced of the dangers of slow drivers to those of us who actually have somewhere to be, accidents can actually be caused by slow drivers rather than speeders. In fact, my friend's cousin had a severe crash caused by a lazy driver. The boy (let's call him John) was on the highway progressing at slightly over the speed limit, and in front of him there was a car that was going slower than him. In order to maintain his speed, John carefully pulled around the other car and continued on his way. The other driver, apparently upset about being passed, increased his speed, pulled around and cut-off John. As the other driver cut John off, the driver slammed on his brakes to anger John, and in an attempt to not hit the rude driver, John swerved violently out of his lane. The force of the swerve flipped John's car and sent it spinning on its side down the median. Luckily, John was not badly injured, but his car was totaled.

    Overall, unnecessary lateness and silly crashes can be avoided by simply driving the speed limit. You will not get a ticket for driving 40 in a 40, I promise. And don't it's not like your car is screaming, "No, don't do it! Please don't use my speed for the better good of society!" If no one crawled at zombie pace down the roads, fewer people would be late to school and work. There would be so much less traffic. There would be less stress on drivers in general. Please people, my fellow citizens, JUST DON'T MOSEY!